Annya's Enchanted Realities

I don’t know about you but I am and will always be certain that I am scared of dentists and the dental clinics. I’ve been successfully capable of staying away from this scary place but time caught up and last month I had to go in for a consultation.

Fate has a funny way of getting back at you. I went in for a consultation and was waiting for my turn to be called in. I’ve had some pain in my jaw and my left face was so painful that I felt dizzy and fainted. So my sister, the nurse, suggested that I check in with the dentist. It was fate in my sister’s disguise that pushed me to the dentist’s office.  

The receptionist asked me for my details and what I was in for. I started describing to her what I was in for. I think she knew immediately that this was my first time. She asked me to fill out a form and while I was filling it out, my heart was filled with fear as well. After that I was waiting in the waiting area. 

Another nurse from inside the doctor’s office called out my name. ‘Annya, come in’. I swear I could feel my heart beat inside my ear and blood rushing into my brain all at the same moment. I slowly got up from the chair, pulling myself together and started walking towards the door. As I got closer to the door my heart started pounding harder and harder. 

I was inside the doctor’s room. He asked me to sit in this scary chair. To me, it looked like a torture chair from alien movies, complete with lights, tubes, and surgical equipment all set up. At that moment, when I saw the doctor, he looked like an alien, and I felt like I was abducted and was on the spaceship ready to be probed.

It was as if the doctor could understand what was going inside my mind. He said, ‘Don’t be scared. We’re just going to take a look inside. That’s all. Be cool.’ His soothing words put me at ease, so I sat on the chair. He asked me to open my mouth wide open and started examining. As he examined, all I could think was maybe he is an alien and whatever they depicted in the ‘Independence Day’ movie was right. Aliens were supposed to be telepathic. Maybe that’s how he knew I was scared.

The doctor finished his examination and he said that I needed a root canal on the first molar tooth. He wrote me a three-day prescription for the pain and said that I needed to come in after three days for the procedure. He did say that I might not even want one if the pain and infection come down with the medications. Me being a positive person really hoped that it wouldn’t come down to the procedure.

After three days, I went in and the doctor checked. Fate intervened again. Though I stayed positive, fate tried to meddle with my fear. The doctor told me those scary words, ‘We need to do the procedure. A specialist will be in shortly and he can do it today.’ It was all happening too fast and I did not know what was happening around me. It was as if the world started revolving in the opposite direction while I was running in one direction. 

While I was sitting in the waiting area, a young guy, maybe in his early 20s, walked into the doctor’s room carrying a suitcase. I was still not called in and I had been waiting for an hour now. By this time, I had started cursing this ‘specialist’ in my mind, imagining hitting him a few times with a baseball bat or something stronger. I heard my name being called in and there he was, the ‘specialist’. He was none other than that guy-who-walked-in-with-the-suitcase, wearing gloves and a surgical cap.

There it was, the scary chair. This time, it had even more medical equipment lined up along with a syringe filled with medicine. The pointy needle scared the shit out of me. The specialist asked me to get onto the chair and relax. In my mind, I was asking him, ‘Are you kidding me? You want me to relax.’ but my whole body and voice were frozen with fear.

Turns out they need to give the local anesthesia using that syringe inside the mouth. The doctor asked me to open my mouth wide, and while I opened my mouth, he picked up the syringe and sprayed a little bit of medicine out in the air and then moved the syringe towards my mouth. To me it felt like watching a slow-motion movie in a much slower mode. So afraid at the sight of that syringe getting inside my mouth, I clenched my hands so tight and closed my eyes tighter so that the image didn’t scare me anymore. Then I heard the doctor say ‘Done, you can wait out in the sitting area. I will call you back in a few minutes.’

I was like, ‘That’s it. This is what I was scared of. How silly of me?’ I told myself and sat in the waiting area. It would have been like a couple of minutes. I felt something odd happening to my face. It was not pain, but I could feel that suddenly a part of my face was feeling like it was getting swollen. I touched it but I couldn’t feel my face. This was a really different feeling. I started panicking and right at that moment my sister had texted me about something. I started sending her panic texts like, ‘Something weird is happening to me.’. ‘I can’t feel my face.’,… She was so cool about it and said that is the symptom of the local anesthesia taking effect.

I was called in again for the procedure. You all know the drill by now. The doctor asked me to get on the scary chair, and I started cursing the doctor while on the chair. I knew it was better for everyone or at least me that I closed my eyes because when I saw the doctor take the machine in his hand, all I could think of was a man standing with a chainsaw to cut the body parts. I know it’s a crazy analogy. But I watch too many crime shows and this is how I can relate. Please forgive my analogies.

Then started all the buzzing and whirring sounds, then I could feel some chill air or water inside my mouth that was sprayed. Throughout the process I kept myself calm thinking that I was ‘Lightning McQueen’ from the Cars movie. That animated car when it needed repairs the other animated cars would work on then and the sound of those buzzing, whirring, and spraying. It was my only way of coping to soothe my mind.

Then suddenly I heard the doctor say ‘Suction please’ and immediately the scene changed in my mind. I was now on the operating table at ‘Grey’s Anatomy’. Something had gone wrong, and I could see Dr. Grey, Dr. Bailey, Dr. Torres all working together in harmony to fix me. For a moment I could even see Dr. Christina Yang was there. Then there was this smokiness that I could feel in my mouth, and I had this cough. The doctor said something to the nurse and a breeze of spraying water put me at ease and brought me back to reality.

The doctor said that the procedure was done and asked me to come in for a consultation the following week and gave me some pain medication and antibiotics for five days. After I came out, I saw my sister sitting in the waiting area. She knew that I was scared and she had come to take me home. We paid the bill and went home. That was the end of it.

I hope that through this piece, you’ve gained insight into who I am – my thought processes, my passions for animated movies and crime series, and my fears and coping mechanisms. By sharing my journey of facing one of my fears, I aim to inspire others who may be struggling with similar challenges. 

While it may seem insignificant to some, overcoming fears can be a monumental achievement for others. To those who may be grappling with fears, I want to emphasize: don’t be afraid of anything. You have the strength to face any challenge, but it’s essential to make that decision for yourself. Seek out coping techniques that work for you, and remember that nothing can hold you back. 

Small victories matter. Celebrate them!